I can't rememember a time in my life where I have felt so hurt and helpless and frustrated and mad and sad and angry and just feeling like nothing is fair in this life. It all started on Saturday, June 26th. Ryan called Jana to make sure she was still planning on meeting us with Chi so that our next two weeks with him this summer could start. She was planning on it and then proceeded to tell Ryan that (not sure when this happened the week before, she didn't give complete details) Chalet and Malachi wanted Arby's for lunch one day so she left Malachi home with Chalet, and Caitlyn while she drove up to Arby's. While she was gone a parole officer showed up at her house. Not sure who the parole officer was coming to check up on either. So of course the parole officer knocks on the door and finds Malachi there alone. So what Malachi tells us is that two or three other police officers showed up at the house and then Jana came home. Jana told Ryan not to be surprised if someone contacted him from the police department. Well, we were of course in shock. I started crying because I was so upset to think that she would do such a thing. I would never in my life leave Malachi home alone, especially with a four year old and a nine month old. I don't even let him play in the front yard by himself. I always sit on the front porch or do yard work when he is outside. I don't trust anyone these days and I would never put him in any situation of harm or accident. I just kept wondering what was going through her mind. What kind of mother does that. Well, we started asking Malachi little questions about what had happened. He told us that Chalet and Caitlin were asleep and that "mom" left to get lunch. He said he was at home playing the Wii or something. Then he said there was a knock on the door and a police man was there and he said "is your mom home." He said no. Then the police officer asked, "is your dad home?" He said no. Then he didn't give a lot of detail other than he said when the police left Jana came in his room and said that if the police ever took her to jail that he would be alone and wouldn't have any food to eat unless he made it himself. We were sitting at the Training Table at dinner while he was telling us this part. Ryan's mom was with us and she thankfully told Malachi not to worry, that he would never be alone, that he would always have someone to take care of him, that he would always have food to eat and that he should never try to make his own dinner unless it was just something he could find in the fridge like cheese or bread. She made sure to tell him that he should never try to make anything on the stove. Once again I couldn't believe that she would tell him such a thing. Why would you try to scare your child and almost make him feel like it was his fault for letting the police inside. But lets remember now, Malachi is six years old. SIX. I am so angry right now as I type this. Right after Ryan got off the phone with Jana we just stared at each other. I told Ryan that he better do something drastic. That she needs to be prosecuted, she can't get away with this. So on Monday he called DCFS. At that point they still hadn't received a report from the police department. They still took his report and said that they would open an investigation and check in on the house. So we enjoyed our two weeks with Malachi and waited to hear something and never did. On Friday, July 9th Ryan called DCFS again to check up but the guy he talked to before, Chris, wasn't there and the lady he spoke with gave him limited information. All she told him was that there was an investigation going on. The day or two before that I called my cousin who is a lawyer to ask him for advice. He is a corporate lawyer though and he referred me to his sister who is a family lawyer. His phone was breaking up so the next day he called me and left me a message with his email address and asked me to mail him the divorce decree and then said he would give me his sister's information. On Monday, July 12th, I emailed him. I told him that I wasn't able to scan the divorce decree but asked him if I could just get his sisters information so that I could ask her some questions. He emailed me back and then yesterday I called her. I was angry with myself for waiting for so long. Ryan and I have been so worried for the past two and a half weeks and we feel so helpless and scared and don't know what to do. We have had it so good with Jana. She meets us half way every time. She always lets us keep him extra in the summer and when he is on school vacation and when we have something in Salt Lake that we want him to be to. For that we are very grateful and never wanted to rock the boat or make her unhappy. It wasn't until just recently that we started questioning her ability to be a good mother. A couple of months ago I was on my way to pick him up from her and while I was entering Heber she called me and told me she couldn't find him anywhere. She said that he wasn't at the three normal houses he normally plays at. I let her go so she could continue to search for him. I was so angry at her. Why was she letting him roam the neighborhood freely? How is it that she didn't know where her six year old was at all times? In this world? With what people do to children these days? Why would she do that? After about five minutes I tried and tried to call her back. I finally reached her after probably 10 or 15 minutes. I even called Ryan and my friend Darcy to tell them what she had done. After reaching her she told me that she finally found him and that he was just at someone elses home. I believe this was in March and it was still very cold at this time. I remember pulling him out of her durango. He had on a T-shirt that went to his knees, jeans and flip flops. I asked her if he had a coat and she said no that she just grabbed him the way he was because she was already so late. Again, I was in shock. So not only was she letting him roam the neighborhood freely but she was letting him do it while it was freezing outside with no coat and flip-flops? I was furious! This was the first instant that really made me that angry. But now she has left him at home alone with his sisters and to top it all off. On Sunday, July 11th. We dropped him off at 5 pm in Fruitland. She didn't have a booster seat for either him or Chalet. I was in shock and so angry at her. We should have offered her our booster but didn't. I just couldn't believe that she would do that, especially now after everything else that had happened. We didn't know what to do. We shouldn't have let him go with her. I told Ryan right after we left that we should call the police to tell them. We didn't and I am so ashamed. Thankfully she buckled him up but still, what if she would have gotten into an accident. Now, back to my phone call with the Lawyer. I called Kim Hansen yesterday and told her everything. I wanted to know if she thought it was worth persuing, if we should prosecute and if she thought we had a chance. She told me that the things she had done so far were very serious and that we definitely had a right to call the police to get more information. To find out if they were planning on prosecuting and if not that we could push them to. She said we could also call the courts and have them give us temporary custody of him while they investigate and start the process. She understood our worries that if we didn't win the battle it would cause major strife between us and Jana and that of course we didn't want that because after all it is the happiness of Malachi that is most important. I completely feel that and that is why we never fight with her, we just try to be civil and kind to one another. In fact she has written me numerous emails thanking me and telling me how grateful she is that I love him just as much as she does. We are friends and she tells me her problems with Martin's step children and his ex-wife and their money problems. She has told me how depressed she is and that she had increased her depression medication. All of this led us to finally yesterday where Ryan called the police department and guess what? They don't even have record what happened? Can you believet this? They don't have record. At first i thought that maybe she had made it up. Maybe it was her way of asking for help. Maybe she was doing all of these things so that we would ask her to give him to us or that we would try to take him from her. I even asked Ryan if he thought she would make it up and he didn't know but then, I remembered Malachi giving me so many details of the police showing up. A six year old would or could never make that up. Never. So why? Why was it not reported? What kind of police officer would not report such a horrible thing? How could they live with themselves knowing that they didn't report something that was so neglectful? A mother, leaving her children at home, alone, while she went to get food? Really? I am just so angry. I love Malachi more than I have ever loved anyone in this life. I have been in his life since he was one year old. I am his mommy. He will tell you that. Jana will tell you that. I only want what is best for him and he is not being given that. Justice is not being served for those poor children. What can we do? Ryan asked if maybe a different force, like the sherrifs office was the one who responded. The lady told him that it wasn't likely that it would have had to have been the Vernal police department. I swear I will get to the bottom of this. I don't want to cause problems but I want to know that my son is safe. That he is being taken care of the way he should be when we can't be there. He deserves so much. He is so beautiful. He is so precious. Everyone loves him who meets him. He deserves more than what he is given. It is so unfair. I can't sleep at night and this is all I can think of and the worst part of it all is that I feel so helpless. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to turn to. Why was it not reported? His life with us is so much better. His room is beautiful, our house is clean and peaceful. He doesn't get kicked out of his room like he does at their house so that Martin's daughter and her husband can come live with them. They also smoke and Malachi has very sensitive lungs. In fact I took him to the doctor a month ago and they are almost certain that he has Asthma. I am taking him to see a specialist when he comes back in two weeks. He shouldn't be around that. I remember picking him up about a month and a half ago in Salt Lake. They had come to Salt Lake for the weekend and when I pulled him out of the car he reaked so badly of smoke. I asked him if they were smoking in the car because I was certain of it. How could he smell so badly? He told me they weren't but that they smoke outside. He told me that his mom smoked too. Not only is second hand smoke deadly for a child but even worse for a child with asthma. Tell me where this child is better off, tell me?