I don't even know the last time I wrote but I wanted to write tonight because I am so happy. Our little boy is here with us and we get to spend almost 4 whole days with him. Of course he has already asked us how long he will be here and when he is going back to Mommy Jana's and then asked if he could only stay longer with us and then said he would be sad not to see Mommy Jana. I feel so bad that he thinks about these things, he gets so torn, I tried to tell him not to think about it and just have fun. How sad is it that a 7 year old worries about these things. The last two times we have had him he has sobbed about leaving saying that he will miss us too much and that he doesn't want to go home. I of course want to sob right along with him and tell him that I never want him to leave me again but I know I can't do that. I know I have to be strong and that I can't say anything negative or persuade him one way or the other. All I could think to do was to tell him I would give him a picture of us and that he could hang it on his wall and if he gets sad that all he has to do is look at it and then he will know how much we love him and that we think about him every day. I also told him that he can call us whenever he wants no matter what but he said that Jana won't let him. I still don't know what that is all about. He has been having troubles at school this year again. Mostly not listening and getting upset if he is asked to do something he doesn't want to do. He also unplugged some of the computers in the computer lab while his class was in there. Because of this his class had to go back to their classroom and the rest of the classes scheduled for the lab couldn't go. He was sent to the principal's office and on his way back to his classroom he pulled another plug on a teacher's computer. Last week he took candy off of his teacher's desk and ate it. She saw him do it and asked him about it and he denied it. He finally fessed up to it after Jana kept asking him and asking him. He burst into tears and admitted it. I guess he has also taken things from kids at school as well. I am so worried about him and feel so helpless. I know he knows better. I personally feel that he isn't getting the attention he deserves at home and so he is trying to get it at school. I just wish I could be with him and love him every day and give him the love and attention he needs and deserves. If only. Ryan is convinced that he will choose to live with us one day. I pray, pray, pray that that happens!

Now more positively. He is SO SMART. You should see this kid read. He is seriously AMAZING. He has to be on the highest reading level possible. He knows almost all the words he reads in the books we have and he reads FAST. I am so proud to have such a smart boy!

Funny story. I had talked to him last week before Valentines Day when we thought he would be coming, the weekend of the 12th. So I told him I would have a Valentine waiting for him. Well, we ended up switching weekends because we could get him for two days longer because of President's day. Of course tonight when he went in his bedroom he immediately asked where his present was. I was feeling so bad because I completely spaced getting one since we switched weekends. I tried to act sneaky, telling him that he would have to wait until tomorrow (and then I could come up with something while he was sleeping). But he wouldn't have it because in the past I have hidden presents in his room so he of course thought I did the same this time. LUCKILY, because I have been cleaning out closets and organizing everything (I don't have a job anymore, story to be told later) there were a few new things in his room he had never seen. First he found an old hat that he thought was a present, then he found a 2 dollar bill (he had actually gotten that for Christmas from my grandparents but I guess forgot) on his dresser, there was a little angel bell that I found and had just happened to put it on his dresser, there was a framed picture of him from my desk at work. It was hilarious. He kept finding things and he really thought they were his present. Of course I had to agree because I didn't want to break his heart. But then he kept expecting more and I said that that was really it. Five minutes later he came out and said that he had found more. I couldn't wait to hear what he had found next, he found a kite, and three pairs of new shoes that I had just recently bought to. Somehow I had saved myself and didn't even know it and he was as happy as a clam. Way to go me, I deserve mother of the year award. HA HA!!!

Needless to say, I love my little boy to pieces. On the agenda is teaching him that stealing is not ok. To listen to his teacher. To teach him about baptism because he will be baptized this year. To teach him Jana's phone number just in case. To make shamrock stain glass like cutouts (pictures to show later). To go to the dentist. To go swimming. Hopefully I can fit that all into this weekend.